Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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