A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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knock knock

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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