What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Penis penis poop butt

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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