A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops