An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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Why? Because!

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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