What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

Black people. They are so kind.

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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