How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

It smells like triangles in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

watashi no namae wa ramune desu

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mitt Romney.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops