Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

Knock Knock.

Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

Women.

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

I'm banging your sister.

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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