Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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