What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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Girls

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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69

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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How many dislikes can this get?

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops