Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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http://anti-joke.com/

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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