Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops