A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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mc hammers income.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops