What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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69

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops