Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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