Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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like for a handjob.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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obama leadership

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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