how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Smart Blondes

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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