Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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Thumbs this down

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why was the boy crying. He just got raped by a llama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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