Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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your a towel.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Knock knock What

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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hi michael

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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a

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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What is next?

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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