What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

women playing football?

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

Blarg

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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