How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-When is a door not a door? -Never

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

thumb_up thumb_down +11

when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

thumb_up thumb_down +9

sarah taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Stephen Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops