Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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