Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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#scabbers

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Joe Biden

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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