Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops