Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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