Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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PENlS.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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JEWS

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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