So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

obama

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops