Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

Knock Knock Come in

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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