What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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Johnson stops eating

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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No. Yes.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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asian drivers.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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What did the fish say? Moo

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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