A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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25

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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