what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down +15

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is cold? Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops