Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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