A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

9/11

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

What's clear and wet? water

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

justin bieber

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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