What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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no

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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