What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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stop it ryan vallee

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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