how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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Are you a human?

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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