Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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hey

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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