What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

Potato

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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