A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

motley crew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops