A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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A jew go out of a bar

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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