Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

7

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

i love huge wieners.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

a catholic priest and a young boy

A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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