What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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