WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

i like tits

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

The 13th Amendment...

What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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