Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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haha, you're an orphan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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