What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

wanna hear a joke: women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops