How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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