How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

What's 9+10=? 19

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

"Up to 50% off."

Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Dear Board of education, so are we.

Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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