A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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Where's my shotgun

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what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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who eats pencils asians

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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