Do you know what they say? Words

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

Which one is hardest?

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

Waseem is not a funny guy!

Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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