What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops