What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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the real mccoy

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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hey bill!

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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w.f.t im not dislecsik ........ .......................................................................

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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Wheelchair high jump

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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